This post is the second part of a five-part series on conversations on dialog in an age of distrust. The first post in this series can be found here.

In order to understand politics and friendship, we must understand people. To that end, I have spent this past winter talking to five individuals who live in different areas of America. They are committed to dialogue and debate in order to foster community in the face of America’s changing political landscape.  Those conversations will be posted here as a five part series describing how these individuals have maintained closeness with people who do not share their political views. For the second part of this series, I talked to Alex (not his real name). Alex is a 32 year old lawyer, living in Houston, who self-identifies as a political liberal who holds his views strongly, but with an open mind. He votes as often as he can.

Alex and his friends connect every week for a drink or over a shared meal. Sometimes, he and his wife bring their young son along. And sometimes, he and friends discuss politics, even though they do not always see eye-to-eye. Alex is part of a diverse friend group, and their diversity influences their views on politics and on policy issues.

When the conversations turn political, he is the first to admit that things can get a little tense. They can also get personal.  As the son of Mexican and Persian immigrants, Alex feels like he has often occupied a different cultural space than many of his friends do. Alex didn’t hide his identities as a liberal or the son of a Muslim father from his friends when they first met. As a result, his friends have already accepted this about him. He brings a perspective to the table they might not otherwise hear about.

How does Alex handle these tense conversations? A trained lawyer and a talkative man, he could whip out sharp critiques. But he does not. He responds with trust. He trusts that at the end of the evening, nothing between him and his friends will be different. Alex does not believe it is unique for self–described liberals and conservatives to get along, because common understanding can always be found.

Nothing about his politics and friendships are remarkable to him. Of course, he is friends with people who disagree with him on issues that are core to his worldview. Why wouldn’t he be? He believes that as long as he and friends continue to have conversations, they can continue to be friends.  None of us can get through life alone, and Alex doesn’t try. He enjoys the community he has built and values the friends who show up to dinner each week, no matter what last week’s conversation contained.

For Alex, it is more important to find people who care about him and will listen to him than people who agree with him. Politics and friendship can always be personal, so it is important to get to know the person behind the politics. Many Americans share connections with people who are on opposite sides of the political spectrum but who share core cultural values. Those core values are more important than political opinions.

Part of what drives Americans apart is the perception of an “us” against “them”. The belief that there are no shared shared experiences or perspectives between those who identify with different political parties. Alex knows this kind of thinking is pointless. His continued close relationships have demonstrated there are similar experiences even among those who hold seemingly divergent views. For the many Americans who are willing to reach across cultural divisions, they reach into the fabric of the American experience.

Sure, the internet may make us believe we can hide away in echo chambers, but life is about connection. WeVote brings that connection to the internet. By inviting people you trust to share their opinions with you, the more connected our communities become. You can bring your community online to WeVote by connecting with those you trust (by inviting them to be your friends on WeVote), by creating a voter guide, and by following the activities of advocacy organizations. Politics and friendship should not drive us away from those we share life with; it should bring us closer together.

Elizabeth Janeczko spent ten years teaching high schoolers before deciding to move across the country to earn a degree in public policy. She is passionate about civics, education, political issues, and prose.